I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
