I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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