No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
This is the prime rib incident all over again
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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