whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just had sex on a roof
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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