you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
