ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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