Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
