i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
His hands were made for my vagina.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Shitshow foam night was such a success
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
