Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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