i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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