I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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