Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
