I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize