So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
