Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
We named our party play list daddy issues
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
