i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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