I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
