I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
