Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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