Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
