I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
