Do you still have your period?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Randomize
