he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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