I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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