my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
His nipple licking is glorious
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