white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
