I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
