Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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