i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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