Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
