Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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