please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
