I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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