I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
They have beer where we have blood.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
