is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
