WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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