There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
