he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
