I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
