She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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