I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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