Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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