I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize