he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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