Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
