so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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