It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
