Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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