She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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