how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
she peed on how many people?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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