Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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