It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
