Just took my morning after pill in the library
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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