Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
