were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
my shit smells like andre
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
