But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Your tits are I can't wait for
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
