What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
