I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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