We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
