You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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