: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
