I wish you could order shots online.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
