Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize