I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
