That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
