So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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